I want you to recall a good experience you had at a recent business you visited. Maybe it was a salon, a gas station, a coffee shop, or at a restaurant.

Think about the positive interaction that took place.

You might remember someone greeting you or chatting you up in an authentic way, a manager coming over to listen intently to your feedback, or someone asking you unique and thorough questions showing that they want to be of true service.

Start developing deeper interpersonal skills and you will begin to notice how you become more balanced mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I feel that interpersonal skills don’t consist of some rule book you flip through and follow.

Interpersonal skills are not behaviors that help you get ahead or make you look glamorous in other people’s eyes.

Authentic interpersonal skills are ingrained characteristics that are apart of YOU. They define a certain chunk of who YOU are on a deeper level.

True interpersonal skills take time to develop.

In my opinion, these skills have been molded from how you were raised, who you choose to surround yourself with, how often you seek out personal growth and change work, and the accumulation of how often you challenge your comfort zone in life.

When someone’s interpersonal skills are nice and polished, they tend to exhibit these:

• Passionate about the art of communicating with others
• Deeply want to solve issues within themselves and others in the workplace, friendships, family
• Familiar with how to listen instead of wanting to share something about themselves
• Know how to pose questions as a listener VERSUS statements
• Able to think before talking or responding
• Can deliver language that others can hear and be inspired by
• Knows how to lead and inspire versus tell and teach
• The ability to feel what others are expressing in the moment
• Aware of body language and social space

Many other interpersonal skills come to mind (leadership, presenting, writing clarity, etc).

I wanted to share a few that I feel are more along the lines of what some refer to as emotional intelligence.

Having the ability to process emotional information within yourself and from others is essential for navigating relationships with friends and loved ones, developing stability at work, and evolving within your social environment.

Make a list of different interpersonal skills you consider to be of sound quality. Scratch off the ones that relate to things such as being organized, understanding negotiation, being assertive, etc.

I want you to put focus on the ones that build a solid character and emotional intelligence.

Start placing yourself in uncomfortable situations in life. No, don’t go stand in the middle of the street on a busy intersection.

Go join a meet-up group that’s centered around the process of aging and dying. Check out the public speaking group Toastmasters. Sign yourself up for the Landmark Forum. Invest in an NLP training or workshop (something I chose to study and get certified in for change work). Move to Europe for the summer. Choose to get rejected once a day for the next month by asking strangers random oddities.

I believe there is a quote that says something like “get comfortable being uncomfortable.” I’m ready to continue my interpersonal skills journey of trench work with you.

It doesn’t matter if you sink or swim, it’s all about the learning process. Dive in!

Photo Credit: http://www.become-an-effective-psychotherapist.com/Personal-Development.html